2011/12 La Liga Preview

You can tell the season is about to start in Spain when it's not actually starting at all. A week after the campaign should have begun, clubs are still on strike over more than €50m of unpaid wages. According to the AFE (players' union) president, Jose Luis Rubiales, more than 200 players have been affected over the past two years by the non-payment of wages.

Of course, strikes are nothing new in the giddy world of Spanish football. There have been opening weekends when, just days before, no one knew who was playing when. A few years ago, Sevilla were the only team in the league that didn't have a TV deal so they retaliated by banning all cameras from all their games. Real Sociedad got round the problem of their fans not knowing the score when they played Sevilla by recovering the old tradition of letting off fireworks over the Bay of Biscay every time a goal was scored. Trouble was, no one knew which goal had been scored.


Last season there were two proposed strikes; there was even one led by the clubs themselves in a clumsy and frankly baseless protest at the law that protects one game a week on free to air. On both occasions the show went on. This one, however, is different: a photo of 100 players, with Iker Casillas and Carles Puyol at the helm, shows how serious they are.

There is huge uncertainty. But then again the only certainty in the Spanish league is uncertainty. The strike has happened but the threat of it is nothing new and it is a consequence of deep, structural problems that have been growing by the year – much like the gap between Madrid and Barcelona and the rest. This season there will be games at 6, 8, and 10 on Saturdays, 12, 4, 6, 8, and 10 (yes, 10 at night) on Sundays, and 9 on Mondays. But don't bother asking when they will be and certainly don't bother trying to arrange a trip to see them … no one will know that until eight days before.

There is one certainty though: Barcelona and Real Madrid will be the top two. What, though, about the other 18 teams? Well here's what:



Athletic Bilbao: So much for loyalty. Athletic coach Joaquín Caparros was criticised for talking to other clubs in the summer rather than committing to Athletic. Then he did, but president Fernando Macua lost the elections and Caparros was out of a job. His replacement is Marcelo Bielsa and Athletic's style is about to undergo a dramatic change; more technical, more complex, shorter. They have the players, too, with Ander Herrera joining Iker Muniaín, Javi Martínez, Fernando Llorente and Andoni Iraola. A European place is likely; maybe even more.

Do say: "Marcelo Bielsa worked wonders with Chile last summer at the World Cup. I hope he employs that infamous 3-5-2 here too."
Don't say: "What they need is a few more foreign imports."



Athletico Madrid: Sergio Aguero has gone, David de Gea has gone and Diego Forlan is going. At Atletico Madrid people are always leaving – except the two men that really should leave. They have though made some interesting signings led by Falcao and Arda Turan.

Do say: "Falcao was one of the top strikers in Europe last season, and is a more than adequate replacement for Forlan."
Don't say: "That Cerezo is doing a cracking job as president."



Real Betis: At last they're back. Arguably, the funnest team in La Liga return to the top flight. And the league kicks off with the Seville derby, which should be fantastic and has been missed. Unlike Manuel Ruiz de Lopera, the president who has finally gone. Stuck in administration, they're likely to struggle though.

Do say: "King Juan Carlos of Spain is honorary president, don't you know?"
Don't say: "What they need is Javier Clemente to take over again. He'd keep them in the top flight."



Espanyol: Callejón, De La Peña, David García, and Chica have all gone and it looks like Osvaldo will be going, Kameni too. The president Daniel Sanchez Llibre has also departed after almost 15 years. Didac, who left last winter, is back though – on loan from Milan. Last year's eighth place may be possible again but looks unlikely.

Do say: "Haven't they just become a parent club to Swansea City?"
Don't say: "Aren't they Barcelona's 'other' club?"



Getafe: Hang on a minute. Weren't these supposed to be golden days for Getafe? Taken over by Dubai-based owners Royal Emirates, the promise was of €30m a year – enough to establish Getafe as regular challengers for a European place. There were going to be big signings galore. So, Manu, Parejo, Boateng, Víctor Sánchez, Albín, Marcano and a handful of others have … erm, gone?

Do say: "Think Man City under Thaksin Shinawatra: it's just not going to end well."
Don't say: "They should never have sacked Michael Laudrup in my opinion."



Granada: Udinese's Spanish branch. Granada, propped up by the Italian club where their president and ubiquitous club administrator Quique Pena worked, had 12 Udinese players on loan last season. That was enough to come up via the play-offs. Will that support be enough to stay up? Probably not.

Do say: "Former Oxford City striker Ikechi Anya is on their books."
Don't say: "Noe Pamarot plays for them? I remember him at Spurs. Decent."



Levante: Last year's miracle. Probably the first team down this time around. They have the lowest budget in the division and have lost Luis Garcia, the motivational genius who brought them together.

Do say: "They've lost their top goalscorer from last season, Felipe Caicedo.
Don't say: "Well at least they've replaced him with a quality centre-forward like Nabil El Zhar."



Malaga: Money, money, money. Sheik Abdullah bin Naser al Thani took over last summer and brought in a new manager and new players. Halfway through the season, it wasn't working: they were going down. So they sacked the coach and brought some new players. This time it did work, with Julio Baptista leading the way. Now they have signed a load more players, from Van Nistelrooy to Monreal, from Toulalan to Joaquín and Isco to Cazorla. Cazorla cost €19m: more than Málaga's entire budget a couple of seasons ago. Suddenly their budget has shot to €150m, making it the league's third biggest, and they have spent more than €50m. But it is not just about money: there is solidity to this project that suggests that this might even work.

Do say: "They've overhauled their squad, but the players they've brought in are of a quality which says it could just work."
Don't say: "I guarantee they'll be in next year's Champions League"



Mallorca: "Having looked safe all season, the project seemingly secure on and off the pitch, suddenly Mallorca found themselves within a goal of going down on the final day. Michael Laudrup's team should not suffer the same fate this season but if Jonathan de Guzman gets his wish of a move to Villarreal, it will be an almighty blow.

Do say: "Michael Laudrup is the Gary Megson of Spanish football: how does he continue to get work?"
Don't say: "For a season in the 70's Vic Reeves managed Mallorca. No wonder he turned his back on the game for a career in comedy."



Osasuna: Osasuna were in relegation trouble right to the end of the season and finished ninth. Which kind of says it all about top-flight football in Spain. They're used to suffering, which is a good job really. Josetxo has gone but, somehow, Patxi Puñal – the man who used to cycle to training after his morning shift at the factory - is still around. Osasuna have signed Nino from Tenerife, which sounds like a good idea when you consider the 17 and 14 goals he has score in the least two years, but then it hits you: he was relegated both times.

Do say: "Osasuna means 'health' in Basque. Let's hope it's not an 'ill-fated' campaign then!"
Don't say: "Sammy Lee played for Osasuna between 1987-1990. He did well."



Racing Santander: Remember Ali Syed? No? Really? Arriving at Racing as the saviour, going bonkers in the directors' box and promising big things? Well, now he has disappeared and refuses to answer the phone. Racing are in administration, their coach has gone and so have a load of their players – most of them a little worse off after going unpaid. The new coach is Hector Cuper, the man who if there was a competition for coming second would still come second. Sadly, it wouldn't be a huge surprise if he did it again. Second bottom.

Do say: "I hope Cuper plays that high intensity pressing game he's become famed for."
Don't say: "Santander? My bank have branched out into football? I hope my 5% ISA isn't going to be affected."



Rayo Vallecano: Madrid's self-consciously left-wing club from the neighbourhood of Vallecas. Rayo's players went on strike last season. Their owners - the, erm, 'controversial' Ruiz-Mateos family - were finally kicked out after 20 years. And they ended up in administration. Still they came up, eight years later. Great fun in their three-sided ground (the fourth is just a huge board covered with adverts), the thing is they are almost certain to go straight back down again. Half the team have gone and there are rumours that the coach may yet walk with four more players after administrators tried to enforce a 70% pay cut upon them.

Do say: "The club's inner-turmoil may prove to be the monkey on its back; but this young, attacking side should be fun to watch."
Don't say: "Bloody lefties. I hope they get what's coming to them."



Real Sociedad: The departure of coach Martín Lasarte came as a surprise – not only had he brought la Real up but for much of last season they over-performed. But his relationship with the club's directors had long been difficult. The new man in charge is Philippe Montanier from Valenciennes and the man who achieved three promotions in a row with Boulogne. His ability to bring through young players is a key reason for la Real turning to him – 19 of the first team squad have come up from Real Sociedad B.

Do say: "They finished second in La Liga as recently as the 02/03 season. It won't happen this season."
Don't say: "Sociedad abandoned their policy of signing only Basque players in 1989 when they bought John Aldridge from Liverpool. WHAT THE FUCK?"



Sevilla: Fredi is staying. The legs are creaking and he's slower than ever but Sevilla could not be happier. Kanouté is, some fans insist, the best signing the club has ever made. This summer he talked about finally walking away, six seasons two Copa del Reys and two Uefa Cups later. Such is their respect for him, Sevilla said they would let him decide and simply wait for him. One day, he announced he was staying. In a team that has desperately lacked a touch of quality of late, he may be important too. Under new management – Marcelino has joined from Racing – and with Rakitic giving a degree of control, the aim will be Champions League football.

Do say: "Sevilla's style of play: width and plenty of crosses into the box, is entirely dependant on Jesus Navas. He needs to have a good season for Los Rojiblancos to return to the Champions League."
Don't say: "Kanoute needs to stop freeing bloody Palestine and start scoring."



Sporting Gijon: They've been arguing all summer about the new kit at Sporting. And in the end the fans got their way, too. The team is a different matter: José Ángel has gone to Roma, Javi Poves decided to ditch football all together for moral and political reasons and by far their best player Diego Castro has gone to Getafe. Not one of their current players got more than 10 goals last season. It won't be easy to do so this campaign either.

Do say: "Manager Manuel Preciado has the world's greatest moustache."
Don't say: "Manager Manuel Preciado has the world's greatest moustache."



Valencia: Amidst all the talk of Madrid, Barcelona and Málaga, few have noticed Valencia slowly adding to an already impressive squad – and last season they were the only team that consistently caused Barcelona problems. Joaquín and Isco have gone, but Parejo, Piatti and Canales have all joined (even though Canales won't be able to play against Real Madrid). Lille's Adil Rami, at centre-back, is a vital addition too. Coach Unai Emery never seems especially well liked at the club, but he's starting his fourth successive season.

Do say: "Sergio Canales found opportunities hard to come by at Madrid last season, but this campaign could prove to be the one where he proves to the world what he his capable of."
Don't say: "I wish they'd hurry up with that new stadium."



Villarreal: It has been a difficult summer for Villarreal. Joan Capdevila and Santi Cazorla both departed and the impact on the squad has been genuinely tough. Financially, Villarreal are struggling after years of being one of Spain's most stable clubs and departures were inevitable. Cazorla was Villarreal's key creative player last season. The good news is that Giuseppe Rossi didn't join Barcelona and Borja Valero is still around.

Do say: "Cristian Zapata is an astute signing from Udinese. He was one of Serie A's best centre-halves last season, and will hope to plug the holes in what was a leaky defence last season."
Don't say: "Marcos Senna is still captain? Jesus Christ."



Zaragoza: Zaragoza haven't got any money and are in voluntary administration having racked up debts in excess of €130m. In Spain, administration brings no footballing penalties. In fact, Zaragoza have been largely unaffected. They signed goalkeeper Roberto from Benfica for €8m. Only they paid 1% of that: the goalkeeper was instead bought by an investment fund in which Jorge Mendes and Peter Kenyon are involved. Other clubs were annoyed but suggested they would do the same, bringing the prospect of widespread third-party ownership (which is not illegal) to Spain. Five others have joined, including three from Madrid and Barcelona's B teams. Aguirre dragged them out of relegation trouble last season. It is likely to be much the same battle this time round.

Do say: "Peter Kenyon's involved? Do I not like that."
Don't say: "Nayim, from the halfway line. Nayim, from the halfway line."

2011/12 Bundesliga Preview

All the games will be sold-out, of course. The now traditional mix of goal-gluts, managerial madness and beyond-silly off-the-pitch antics will all be present. Some of the best young players on the planet will perform sublimely week-in week-out. But the new Bundesliga season hasn't been greeted quite as euphorically as in previous years.

Two factors are chiefly responsible for this relatively sober comeback of Germany's favourite pastime. First, the sheer number of big club crises and axed managers in 2010-11 have exhausted the league. As a result of all that disorder, the clubs were forced to ring in the changes early. New managers (Jupp Heynckes, Bayern; Robin Dutt, Leverkusen; Marcus Sorg, SC Freiburg; Stale Solbakken, Koln; Holger Stanislawski, Hoffenheim;) were hired well before the summer started and the key, most expensive transfers (Manuel Neuer, €22m to Bayern, André Schürrle, €8m to Leverkusen) were front-loaded.

The second reason has all to do with the herd effect. German football seems to have collectively followed Dortmund's lead, both in terms of their youth policy and their moderate expenditure. Borussia's triumph with the youngest ever squad has given sporting directors across the board the confidence – or an excuse – to promote shedloads of teenager to the first team, in the hope that more Mario Gotzes or Schurrles will emerge. So just when you thought that the fallen giants would invest heavily to remind yesteryear's army of roaring "Gräue Mäuse" ("grey mice" aka unfashionable clubs) of their true position in the food chain and fight for that newly available fourth Champions League spot, they've all been reading from one of Gordon Brown's old chancellor speeches, stressing prudence, prudence, prudence.

No one has spent any significant money in net terms. Ten clubs have even made a profit this summer, among them Dortmund, who brilliantly succeeded in keeping almost their whole squad together despite plenty of predictions to the contrary. The new, characteristically smart additions of Moritz Leitner (Augsburg), Ilkay Gündogan (Nürnberg) and Ivan Perisic (Bruge) will provide much-need depth to Jürgen Klopp's squad but their wage bill has only moderately increased from €35m to €40m in the process. It could easily be cut back again, if they miss out on the Champions League next season. "We need to be very conservative and humble," said their president Hans-Joachim Watzke.

Financially, it's all been so sensible that it almost hurts. Thank God then for Bayern, who followed up their by now customary trophy-less odd year with a customary spending spree. Their gross outlay of €44m (€39m net) accounts for nearly a third of the Bundesliga's gross spend (€137m; €100m net). Neuer will be worth his inflated fee if he stays around for a decade or so and the right-back Rafinha (Genoa) was a no-brainer at €5.5m but whether Jérôme Boateng really is the answer to a decade worth of problems at centre-back remains to be seen. Upstairs, by the way, the president Uli Hoeness has become closer involved again in an effort to support manager Jupp Heynckes while Karl-Heinz "Che" Rummenigge is busy plotting a coup against Sepp Blatter.

However, a lack of big-spending and big-names seems to matter less in a league that has taken to producing young talent in alarming quantities. As someone, somewhere, once said: In an age of universally overvalued players, making them yourself ain't half bad an idea.



Augsburg: Manager Jos Luhukay has lost his number one striker from last year, Michael Thurk, and that doesn't bode well for the forthcoming campaign. Thurk was the linchpin of the side that won promotion from 2.Bundesliga last year, and to lose him because of a training-ground bust up is potentially disastrous. The story of the club's rise is a nice one, but I can't see them hanging around for long.

Do say: "10 years ago Augsburg were in the Fourth Division of German football: haven't they done well?"
Don't say: Anything bad about them. That would be awfully mean.



Bayer Leverkusen: Runners-up last year, Leverkusen will be looking to go one better this season with the help of new boss Robin Dutt. The Werkself haven't helped themselves though with the sale of Arturo Vidal to Juventus; he was last year's shining light, and they will be looking to youngster Andre Schurrle to fill the gap. Champions League is realistically the best they can hope for.

Do say: "Schurrle........What a player!"
Don't say: "Love the fact they play without a shirt sponsor - classy."



Bayern Munich: After last season's shambles, Bayern will be looking to reclaim what they feel is rightly theirs: the Bundeliga title. The addition of Manuel Neuer is a huge plus (even if the fans can't stand the sight of him) and will need to do well if the Bavarians are to have a decent chance of winning the Salad Bowl. Oh, and the Champions League final is at the Allianz this season as well. No pressure then Jupp.

Do say: "Rafinha as right-back enables Philipp Lahm to play as an inverted left-back, where he's much better."
Don't say: "I'm sure the board will give Jupp Heynckes all the time in the world to succeed."



Borussia Dortmund: Nurin Sahin may have been sold to Madrid, and father-figure Dede may have been released, but Dortmund have kept onto almost all of last year's championship-winning squad. They're the best supported team in Europe and in Mario Gotze have the best young player anywhere in the world, so they must be confident of repeating last year's feat. The one sticking point however could be the Champions League. It was evident last year that their extremely young squad struggle towards the run-in, only just scraping home. So could the added pressure of Europe be too much for Die Schwarzgelben?

Do say: "I'd be very interested to see whether their high-pressing game works in Europe."
 Don't say: "When is Mario Gotze moving to Arsenal?"



Borussia Monchengladbach: They fought off relegation all last season, and this year promises to be much the same. Michael Bradley is back from Aston Villa to provide some drive in the midfield, and last year's star-man Marco Reus has fortunately stuck around to help out. Goals are a problem -Joshua King has come on-loan from Man. United to help solve that dilemma- and letting them in is also an issue. It's going to be a long season for Die Fohlen.

Do say: "Winger Marco Reus must surely realise that he's far too good for this team."
Don't say: "Am I the only who finds manager Lucien Favre's praise for 'polyvalent' players a little unsettling?"



SC Freiburg: New manager Marcus Song will be hoping to continue the club's recent upward trajectory. Solid professionals like Heiko Butscher, Cedric Makiadi and Jan Rosenthal have stayed, and along with new signings Beg Ferati and Garra Dembele, the squad looks capable of going places. Keeping striker Papiss Cisse will be the club's main priority before the window closes, and if that's the case, Europe may be on the horizon.

Do say: "Why on earth did no bigger club come in for Papiss Cisse? He's like a good Darren Bent"
Don't say: "What does manager Marcus Sorg know about building a squad?" (He's got a degree in structural physics, actually)



Hamburger SV: Disappointingly 8th last season, new coach Michael Oenning has a proper task on his hands. Gone are David Rosenthal, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Joris Mathijsen, Piotr Trochowski and Ze Roberto. And in come the entirety of Chelsea's reserves. New director of football Frank Arnesen has been instrumental in bringing in a host of youngsters from west London: Hamburgers however are not impressed. The Europa League looks like a distant oasis.

Do say: "Long gone are the days of Van der Vaart, Olic and Ze Roberto. This Hamburg side are going to struggle. No doubt."
Don't say: "Michael Mancienne". He was crap at Wolves for Christ's sake.



Hannover 96: It seems a little crass to contribute Hannover's miracle season last time out to the death of their goalkeeper Robert Enke nearly 12 months ago: but that is almost certainly the case. Playing in a frenzy of sadness and community, Hannover ended the season a remarkable fourth. Something that just shouldn't have happened looking at their squad. Over the summer, no one has left, and only Christian Pander has come in to bolster ranks. Fourth probably won't happen again this time, but wouldn't it be nice if it did?

Do say: "I hope Didier Ya Konan gets to play the drums again soon."
Don't say: "Maybe it's a good job they didn't get into the Champions League – just think about the coefficient!"




Hertha BSC Berlin: Promoted back to where, really, they belong. Hertha Berlin are ready to light up the Bundesliga just like they did in 09/10. Unfortunately, this time, Liverpool legend Andriy Voronin isn't there to bang in the goals; that's been left to Adrian Ramos. Goals, it seems, won't be a problem for the capital club, it's at the opposite end where it could get nasty. A back-four of Christian Lell, Levan Kobiashvili, Roman Hubnik and Maik Franz is not striking fear in to any attack, anywhere. And as a result, this Berlin are almost certainly going down. It should be fun though.

Do say: "Staying up with this squad would be a miracle."
Don't say: "What they really need is a good sporting director - like Dieter Hoeness, for example."



TSG 1899 Hoffenheim: And to think it had all started so well. Two years ago, in their first Bundesliga season ever, tiny Hoffenheim were breaking new ground. Backed by software mogul Dietmar Hopp, this village side with no real history were top of the first division at Christmas. Vedad Ibisevic, their top-goalscorer, then tore his cruciate ligament, and all hope was lost. They finished seventh that year, and have been on a slow decline ever since. Demba Ba has gone. Luis Gustavo has gone. David Alaba has gone back to Bayern, and it's just not looking good at all this season. Relegation won't happen, but neither will Europe: as was promised.

Do say: "Billionaire Dietmar Hopp is obviously so afraid of the Financial Fair Play regulations that he's ensured the team will finish nowhere near Europe."
Don't say: "This friendly, sugar daddy-backed club epitomises the Bundesliga's enlightened business model."



1. FC Kaiserslautern: A fantastic first season back in the top-flight last year saw them finish seventh. Don't expect that to happen again this year. Inexperience and lack of quality summer signings mean the dreaded 'second season syndrome' looks more than plausible.

Do say: "Did you know? Israeli players Itay Shechter and Gil Vermouth signed their contracts after the club served them some kosher food."
Don't say: The name of Kaiser's sporting director in polite company.



1. FC Koln: The Billy Goats can expect another middling season, slowing plodding along the Bundesliga doing nothing to offend or excite any fan, neutral or otherwise. Lukas Podolski and Milivoje Novakovic will link once again up-front, but the general consensus in Germany is that this side have just become too predictable. Expect, quite shockingly, another mid-table finish.

Do say: "Lukas Podolski should really think twice about getting on the wrong side of coach Sol Solbakken, a guy who was once - true fact - clinically dead for eight minutes."
Don't say: "I can feel a spot in Europe coming on."



Mainz 05: Last year's revelation. A squad with an average age of 23 that stormed the first half of the season, but then tired towards the end of the campaign. They eventually finished fifth, but their style and pace were admired Europe over. Unfortunately, this year, they've lost Lewis Holtby, Andre Schurrle and Christian Fuchs to league rivals, but the genius that brought them together, Thoma Tuchel is still around. Losing in the Europa League qualifiers could prove to be a blessing in disguise.

Do say: "For Mainz, it will be about mid-table but for their manager Tuchel, it's about putting himself in the shop window this year"
Don't say: "I bet they'll be great in the Europa League this season."



1. FC Nurnberg: Another team who had a revelatory campaign last time out; defying the 'second season syndrome' adage. They should do well again this time, but stalwart and all-round purveyor of old-fashioned football, Andreas Wolf, will be a miss after his sale to Werder Bremen. Timm Klose from FC Thun will be an adequate replacement and Tomas Pekhart, formerly of Sparta Prague, should score goals. Don't expect miracles, but they shouldn't go down.

Do say: "Mehmet Ekici will be a big miss. His creativity on the flanks was the big plus from last season, and his move to Bremen is more than deserved."
Don't say: "Defender Andreas Wolf will be sorely missed in terms of his cultured distribution and lovely build-up play."



FC Schalke 04: There's been wholesale changes at the Veltins Arena. Last season was a disaster (unless it was a Champions League night) and this time around, with Felix Magath gone, things look a shade brighter. They've bought well: Lewis Holtby is a wonderful midfielder, Christian Fuchs was a rock at Mainz last season and Ciprian Marica has proven he can score goals in the Bundesliga. The only question is how to replace Manuel Neuer? Ralf Farhmann has been brought in from Frankfurt, but he evidently isn't even in the same class as his young compatriot. Champions League though, is possible.

Do say: "Even with Christoph Metzelder on the pitch, they might grab a Champions League spot"
Don't say: "Ralf Rangnick and Raúl: obviously a match made in heaven"



VFB Stuttgart: From champions four years ago, to a lowly 12th last time. It doesn't look great for Stuttgart. All the ingredients are there on paper, it's just producing that wonderful team broth on a Saturday. Manager Bruno Labbadia, does, in German terms, have an embarrassment of riches at his disposal, but doesn't seem quite know what to do with them. A squad that comprises of Cristian Molinaro, Ibrahima Traore, Cacau and Shinji Okazaki should be challenging for honours; just don't hold your breath it being this year.

Do say: "I bet that come spring, their new Mexican defender Maza won't let any strikers pass over"
Don't say: "€9m for Trasch? I thought you could only do that kind of deal in the Premier League"



Werder Bremen: Torsten Frings has finally gone - to Tornto FC of all places - but that shouldn't be anything other than a brief inconvenience. Lukas Schmitz has signed from Schalke and should fill that long-haired hole perfectly. A lot more dead weight has been shipped out, leaving a berth of talent from the youth team rubbing their hands in gleeful delight at the chance of a first team place. Manager Thomas Schaff can't mess this one up, surely?

Do say: "Thomas Schaaf will never change these three things: a) his moustache b) his facial expression c) his commitment to a midfield diamond"
Don't say: "My perfect woman needs to have tattoos, black hair and silicon" (unless you're Bremen striker Marko Arnautovic, that is.)



VFL Wolfsburg: Post-Steve McClaren, and things are looking brighter for Die Wolfe. The glory days of 08/09 may seem like a long and distant memory, but under Felix Magath they have a coach who knows how to win the title (with Wolfsburg no less). That championship-winning squad may have been largely disbanded now, but a new group are coming together to hopefully step out of that Edin Dzeko/Grafite-sized shadow. Old pros like Thomas Hitzlsperger and Hasan Salihamidzic have been in shipped in, aswell as more eager novices' like Mateusz Klich and Srdan Lakic. If Magath can get them firing, a title challenge might not be too far away.

Do say: "I wonder if Felix Magath will sign Ali Karimi again?"
Don't say: "This friendly, Volkswagen-owned club really epitomises the Bundesliga's enlightened business model."

Gigi Becali: football's most controversial man

George 'Gigi' Becali is mental. Properly bat-shit mental. Since 2003 he has been the sole owner of Romania's biggest and most successful club, Steaua Bucharest, and has been courting controversy from day one.

Initially starting out as an entrepreneur, Becali's real estate business boomed in the late 90's, leading him to become Romania's richest man. At the same time he became leader of the New Generation - Christian Democratic Party, being elected a member of European Parliament in 2004.

So far, so normal for a high-rolling eastern European property magnate. But it wasn't until Gigi became involved with Steaua that he really, last days of Rome, lost it.

Of course, you could get all of this off Wikipedia - I just have - so instead of dedicating a dozen or so paragraphs to his outbursts, I am going to, below, give you all of his quotes, in all of their sweary glory.

Remember, this man is a member of the European Parliament.

Sep 2010: Steaua Coach, Illie Dumitrescu, is sacked for "being too Muslim."

Jan 2011: Becali is given a warning by the Romanian FA for cancelling a transfer because he thought the player was gay - "I'd rather dissolve the club than allow a gay to play for Steaua."

2006: Backs a campaign to "finish off all homosexuals in Romania."

2007: "Gays must be kept in enclosures."

Feb 2011: Becali says League president Dumitru Dragomir "must be beaten" for "humiliating" Steaua during talks over a new TV deal, and for "corrupting football". Dragomir: "Only a moron could think like him. He's illiterate."

 2008: Becali said Dragomir called him "a retard": "In return, I called him a tramp. Then we had a fight."

Aug 2010: Steaua coach Victor Piturca resigns after 59 days, attacking owner Gigi Becali for changing his contract and "failing to shut up". Becali says the new coach, Ilie Dumitrescu, is "a better man ... He's doing this unpaid." Dumitrescu: "Money does not interest me. I just want respect."

Sep 2010: Dumitrescu is sacked. Becali appoints Marius Lacatus as the "lasting solution for Steaua". Lacatus: "I could not refuse this. This is my lifelong dream."
Mar 2011: Lacatus resigns. Becali: "I pick this team. It's not a democracy." Appoints Sorin Cartu as his fifth coach of the season. "I'm giving him three months. We'll see."

Apr 2011: Becali says outgoing FC Dinamo chairman Cristian Borcea's decision to divorce his wife and marry a model is "fine by God". "A man can choose. As God said: man is man and woman is whore."

Mar 2011: Becali, asked on live TV how he feels about Rapid Bucharest president Dinu Gheorghe making public reference to Becali's first job as a shepherd. "What? He is a filthy jerk. A fat bum. I'll force this Gypsy back up his mother. I'm tired of him, all his irony and jokes. He forces me to lose control! He's way out of line."

Gigi's Easter message last month:

Gigi Becali says holding a press conference last week to "clear the air" and say sorry to "everyone I offended this year" made him feel better. Making it on to Gigi's list:
• Rapid Bucharest owner George Copos: "I'm sorry for what I called him. He never answers back. I don't judge him. Yes, he's cheap, but let God judge everyone, I don't have to do it."
• Sexual minorities: "I apologise to them. It's their problem, their disease, not mine. You ask me if I still think it's a sin? Of course it's a sin. I always speak my mind."
• Other religions: "I'm sorry to all of the religions, the cults. But I do have my views. Jehovah's Witnesses are on the way to perdition."
• Plus Steaua's fans: "I'm sorry for offending them. Apart from the ones who called for me to die just before Easter. They are possessed by Satan."

Gigi's conclusion: "That feels better, I feel reborn. And it'll make Satan crazy: he hates it when a soul gets cleaner. But I didn't just do this for me. I'm an inspiration to millions."

May 2008: calls a black TV presenter an "ape".
May 2008: says women "have no more value" after giving birth.

Nov 2006: Becali commissions a reproduction of Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper with himself as Christ, and the Steaua players as his Disciples.



Motty

Mario Balotelli: an eternal love affair

Aggressive, petulant, stubborn, uncouth; it's quite fair to say that Mario Balotelli doesn't enjoy the best relationship with the British media. Caricatured as an uncontrollable young man lacking the requisite skills of respect and decency, Balotelli is treated like a caged animal as journalists, opponents and fans prod him with sticks before running for cover, hoping they've provoked a reaction.

The self-righteous shake their heads at his every action, labelling him as the antithesis of all that is wrong with The Modern Game. But this blog thinks it's time that someone stood up for Super Mario, and saluted his actions rather than chastising them.

Football - despite what Bill Shankly might tell you - is just game. Part of the entertainment industry and designed to interest those who pay for a ticket to a game. It is nothing more. But too often this beautiful simplicity is lost in a wave of angst and violence amongst those who forget that essentially, it's 22 men and a pig's bladder.

With the vast majority of footballers trained in the art of providing the media with tiresome cliches, surely any player who divides opinion with their behaviour and gives us something to talk about is worthy of praise? After all, isn't one of any footballers primary objectives to simply entertain?

Balotelli perplexes and infuriates in equal measure. The excuses offered up for his behaviour range from his difficult childhood - being abandoned by his birth mother as a newborn - to the abhorrant rascist abuse he suffered so regualrly whilst playing in Italy. While these factors undoubtedly contributed to his cold and often hostile persona, there's no need to over-analyse or attempt to explain the Italian: he's an entertainer, like Prince or Robert De Niro.

We all watch the game for its tapestry of different characters with their varying levels of ability, and it's this personalisation that makes football what it is. Can a sport devoid of personalities still be enjoybale? Imagine if all professional footballers were as straight-laced as Aaron Hughes or Peter Beardsley? The game would instantly lose its attraction.

Continuing the long line of erratic geniuses that includes Maradon, Cantona and Di Canio, Balotelli is just another player who's erratic temperament has contributed to their incredible footballing talent. However, perhaps because he hasn't produced consitently excellent performances for Manchester City, Balotelli is not held in quite the same esteem as his fellow nutters. Still, at only 20-years-old, there's plenty of time.

He's arrogant, egotistical and can't dress himself, but so what? Mario Balotelli is an entertainer. And long may his mentalness continue.

Motty

Nearly a Decade in the Sun

For nine years they had been trying and failing. Sir Alex Ferguson couldn't do it. Rafa Benitez couldn't do it. Harry Redknapp couldn't do it. Cesare Prandelli couldn't do it. Nor could Leonardo, Claudio Ranieri or Roberto Donadoni. Not even Big Sam could do it.

In total, 107 coaches tried to beat a Jose Mourinho team at home. On Saturday evening, Manolo Preciado did it.

Preciado: the man with the greatest moustache in football (apart from Warren Gass of course,) became the first man since Antonio Sousa to beat Mourinho on home soil. And only the second ever. Nine years, one month and 10 days the record had lasted. Porto, Chelsea, Inter Milan and Real Madrid had not lost in 150 games under the Portuguese maestro. He'd not been defeated in a home league game since 23 February 2002, when nine-man Porto lost 3-2 to Biera-Mar. 150 matches, 125 wins and 25 draws. 342 goals scored, 87 conceded. And then the record goes against Sporting Gijon!

Sporting Gijon, a team who hadn't beaten Madrid at the Bernabeau for 16 years; a team who went into the weekend's game three points above the relegation zone; a team who's best player is Nacho Novo, finally became the team to end Mourinho's unbelievable record.

It had to be a formality, surely? The start to a perfect weekend: Madrid wold beat Sporting and Barcelona would lose away to Villareal, their hardest game remaining this season. Suddenly, the gap would be down to two points with El Clasico to come later this month. Game on.

Or maybe not. It was at the exact moment when Madrid fans starting muttering and whistling at a game that had become bone-achingly dull, that Sporting scored. A wonderful move down the left-hand side; a clever dummy; a wonderful pass; a beautiful finish from Miguel de las Cuevas.

Before the game, Mourinho had insisted that one more loss and Los Blancos' title challenge would be over. At 1-0 down, Madrid launched themselves forward. Unfortunately for them, they came across Juan Pablo in the Sporting goal, who as AS put it "was an orange octopus with a thousand hands." They had 13 shots to Sporting's one. They had a goal disallowed and a penalty shout turned down. They also had a plethora of key players missing: Benzema, Xabi Alonso, Marcelo and Ronaldo. and yet you couldn't say the were robbed. Sporting's goal was an eight-pass move. No fluke.

Time and again, Madrid launched diagonal balls towards the head of Adebayor. Marca's match report even likened them to Stoke. And time and again it was predictable. Madrid are a side built to counter-attack, but as the season has worn on, teams have worked that out: before they attacked Madrid, now they wait. Mourinho's side have now been beaten by Osasuna and Sporting, and have drawn with Mallorca, Deportivo and Levante. That's 14 dropped points against teams that are all lower than ninth.

As Mourinho said after the game: "If I wanted to draw 0-0, I could have." And anywhere else in Europe that would be fine. But as I've discussed here before, in Spain that is not an option given the ridiculous amount of points Barcelona are racking up.

Saturday's defeat was nine years in the waiting and had a devastating effect on Madrid's title challenge. As the final whistle went, Mourinho was off down the tunnel. Soon, however, there was a knock on the Sporting dressing-room door. As Preciado revealed: the Portuguese coach came in and congratulated all the players individually on their win. It was a touch of class after everything that had happened.

Earlier in the season, Preciado had called Mourinho "a scumbag" and suggested that the Madrid manager should be put in among Sporting's Ultras. They both got involved in a furious argument outside Sporting's ground after Madrid's 1-0 win earlier this season. And Mourinho then accused Preciado of throwing the game against Barcelona that Sporting only lost 1-0. It was petty, it was bitchy and it was getting very, very nasty.

It probably explains why, when the final whistle blew, Preciado ran on to the pitch with his arms in the air; players spraying him with water, as if they'd won the league. He was still dripping when he spoke to the media after the game, reminding the gathering journalists what he told Mourinho in November: "if you spit upwards, it always comes down eventually."

Nine years is an unfathomably long time to remain unbeaten at home. A record that will probably never be beaten again. But as Juanma Trueba put it: "Football is as capricious as a platinum blond and as merciless as the Mafioso that keeps her."

Motty